home, sweet home

I will be moving out of my quaint little apartment this week. And, no, I haven't found a sufficient replacement yet. That is why, after being offered many, many times, I have accepted the invitation to live at my friend's house. I have been against this idea for some time now, but after looking sadly at my bank account and realizing that I'm going to need to save as much money as humanly possible in the upcoming months, I have given in to the hard cold fact that I need to stay somewhere where I won't have to spend too much money.

(One day I will be back in this sweet, sweet neighborhood.)

There are many reasons I have been hesitant. I love this friend. She is a best friend. But should you live with your best friend? I learned the hard that living with your good friends isn't always the best or smartest idea for your friendship. My friend also lives with her mother and relations between the two of them aren't always the smoothest. Her mother has always been super nice to me, but I'm just hoping that I won't get entangled in their mess. The house also isn't in central downtown, which is where I was hoping to stay. I love the area, full of hub-bub and life. Always something happening and easy access to public transportation and in good walking distance of almost everything awesome. The house isn't too far away though, about a 10 min. drive but I don't have a car and the roads are not built to be walked on in my friend's neighborhood. I'm a little afraid of becoming a "prisoner" (yes, that sounds a bit over dramatic) there and becoming claustrophobic in this home. One other thing is that I've been very independent for a long time. I've basically lived on my own since starting college 5 years ago and I don't like depending on people for certain things all of the time. I am going to be depending on my friend for rides - and probably other things, too, that I can't think of right now. These are just some of my worries, but I'm hoping they will remain unrealized worries.

I am fortunate to have this option. I am fortunate to have friends and family offer me this kind of support. Incredibly fortunate. They are good people and I hope to not take advantage of them.

The plan, I think, is to pay my friend's mom about $100/month. $100, that's it. I'll be paying for electricity, water, internet and cable (even though I will refrain from TV as much as possible) with that $100. So cheap. So nice. I plan on buying my own food, but I have a feeling that they'll offer to buy me food and supplies quite often. The one expense I will have that will be a lot more than before is gas. Since I'll be depending on my friend for rides I will definitely have to pay for gas. But this is still less money than I'd be spending otherwise. I will also be deferring my loan payments until further notice because I am unemployed and will not be able to spend $200/month repaying my loan.

My plan is to stay at my friend's house for the rest of year, save up a ton of moolah and move into my own place in January of 09. And by my own place, I mean my own place. I want to have an apartment of my own - or if not on my own then with either (not both) of a couple of friends of mine from college.

Once I'm in my own place I hope to be able to be paying my loans again (although I hope I can do that sooner), be making payments on my own car, applying to Goddard so that I can start there in the Fall of 09, and be making things everyday. I also hope to have an awesome job (Lark Books or ChiLiving would do me just fine) and to be having fun everyday with my friends, family, and, eventually with the ex.

reflecting lights, drizzling against the pane

On my plate today:

-Researching the company ChiLiving, who I have an interview with tomorrow. The founders, who I will be meeting at least one of, are the writers of ChiRunning and ChiWalking. Simply put, they have incorporated the basic teachings of T'ai Chi into walking and running so that walkers and runners can do their things in safer and more meditative ways.
*I had a good tip from a friend about preparing for interviews. She said to read everything you possibly can about them and remember what you read. When you get to the interview, act and talk as if you are already working for the company. They should be happy that to have found a person who already knows about the company and the job.

-Finishing up my proofreading test for Lark Books. Lark Books is a super awesome publishing company that publishes crafts and art books only. I plan on hand delivering the test to them today. This company seems so much fun and so cool. They have already sent me the work for the interview, if I make it to that step (which I think I will because I know my proofreading almost as well as the back of my hand). The work for the interview consists of two "mock" assignments. One, where you have to find 3 artists that make hand make shoes and do a presentation of your findings. And the second is where you have to write up a sidebar for this "proposed" book on handmade shoes. Doesn't it sound like fun? Every day would consist of finding new people who hand make things! Fun!

(One of Lark Books' many...books!)

I'm split between these two jobs and for many reasons. The first is a full time job where I'd make $25,000/year (which is about $17/hour - sooo much for my age bracket) and would get insurance and benefits after three months. And I'd also think it'd be fun and interesting to learn about this holistic way of living in awareness of your Chi. But the second job is actually an internship where'd I'd be working only half time and probably not have that great of pay, maybe $10/hour if I'm lucky. I would also get no benefits and it is supposed to last only through this "semester." But every day would be so much fun there! I'd be learning about all these people who make hand made objects and that are living the d-i-y life. Plus, my upstairs neighbor works there, and if she is any indication of the kind of people that work there then I know I'd love it!

So that's my dilemma. Either one would be great, so that's why I'm putting all my efforts in to learning as much as I can about both companies and doing my darnednest to think like I work at both of them already. But which do you think would be fun to work at, or rather, which would you rather work at? I'd like to get a survey from people on this because, people, I'm horrible at making decisions. ;)

support

I'm so happy to know that I have such great amounts of support right now. From the long emails with lulu, to the sweet messages from a person I've never met, to hanging out at all hours at a time with old friends to receiving a random, heart-felt message from a college acquaintance, I am happily overwhelmed by the support I've been receiving through this new and stressing time.

I've been pretty motivated in my searches of apt. and jobs. I've already looked at one house today and I am supposed to look at another one later today. I've responded to 9 ads so far of people looking for housemates. And I've applied to 8 jobs and counting.



I've also been listening to a lot of M.I.A., Santogold, Micky Green, CSS, Regina Spektor and Feist. This blend is funky, female, and soothing all at once. They are really the only music I can listen to right now without analysing every word and intimately relating it to my situation.

This week should be pretty busy. Wednesday, the 20th, is one of my best friend's birthday. She's turning 23. So I'm going with her and our third counterpart to Pigeon Forge tomorrow. We'll be staying there until Tuesday evening/night. I'm also going to Carowinds on Saturday. And really the only reason I'm going is because I was retarded and forgot the tickets the last time I went earlier this summer. And then I might, not sure yet, be going to Sliding Rock on Sunday. I've just heard that my french friends will be coming on Saturday and I'm really sad. I was hoping to see them, but I won't be at home on that day. Hopefully, I might be able to convince them to come on another day, like Wednesday or Sunday (I can go to Sliding Rock on another day).

(The lovely Heather.)

Some other plans of mine that I'm working to:
1. Car! I have to wait until I get a job, but I've been scouring craigslist looking for a good one $5,000 or under. I will have to get a loan to pay for it, but that's just how the dice roll right now.
2. College, v.2! Getting my mind and ideas together so I can apply for my master's in Vermont. I need a lot of help with this because, as usual my ideas are broad and I need to narrow my ideas down.
3. Photography ideas. I want to do Suicide Girls. I've wanted to it for a really long time, but now just might be the time. To do this, I've been planning poses, locations, backgrounds and clothing. I also took some pictures of a friend, not nude or erotic, mind you. But cute "pin-up" pictures and I think they turned out well. This has inspired me.
4. Clothes creations. I've been slowing getting some sewing supplies. Meanwhile, I've been drawing designs, thinking of colors, ways to reconstruct things and be sustainable at the same time.
5. Making delicious creations. I love cooking. I really loved to do it before the Frenchman broke up with me. That love has dwindled a bit since then. This is unfortunate. I am trying to get that fire raging again and those smells wafting throughout my kitchen.

I hope to keep this blog updated more regularly now. I've also been writing on another blog and love doing it. Writing is therapeutic. I'm finding a variety of things are therapeutic. I am so happy when I can find a new form of therapy. I suppose life has its own form of therapy. :)
<3

a whole new start

So here's another update on my life:

Not only am I currently searching for a new apt., possible new housemates, a car and acceptance into a master's program in Vermont, but now I get to add another item to the list. I was very recently "let go" from my place of employment. While this may seem bad and it may seem like just another thing to worry and stress about, I am actually very ok about this new development. I feel a little bit free. Free from the stress of the job. Freedom to chose another place, a better place, maybe a place that I will love to go to; that I will love to do. Some place that I will get excited about every day. So here's what I'm doing right now, at this very moment:

(Courtesy of flickr.)

1. Job hunting: craigslist, ashevillejobs.com, yahoojobs, monsterjobs, grist job list, etc.
2. Apt. hunting: craigslist, alpha real estate, arc agency, friend's recommendations, etc.
3. Car hunting: craigslist, iwanna, local used car dealerships, etc.
4. Loan researching: my credit union, other resources...
5. Goddard College researching: creating my proposal, figuring out expenses, etc.
6. Fafsa/financial aid hunting: i hate this stuff, filling out form after form...
7. Resisting the urge to go crazy while living with the ex. Yes, we're still living together. It may be a stupid thing, but it's just how things are right now. He's ok when he's not acting like an idiot.

a blow

i have been having a hard week this week. and an especially difficult last few days. i will be trying to do some posts on here. but in light of the most recent events, i don't know how regularly i will be able to do this. i am no longer involved with that certain frenchman. he has decided to take a different route recently, and, well, i am very sad about this. we are still talking and i am still talking to his family. this frenchman has intertwined me in his life and in his family lives so deeply that i know that i will always be a part of his and their lives. this is one small comfort in the sea of depression i have been in lately. anyways, this is just a notice that if i'm lacking on posts, then this is surely the reason why.

(One last look at our lovely home, which I will miss.)

florida-mania

I just want to go back and address why I neglected my blog for over a month. One of the main reasons I hadn't been posting was because for about 10 days I was on vacation in Florida. And although I had been promised internet access on a semi-regular basis, what I was given was nothing near access. Of the 10 days I was away, I think I was able to actually sit down and do work on the internet twice. Yes, twice. I know, unbelievable. I don't know how I survived. ;)

(Me & Steph waiting around for the Tampa Rays vs. Boston Red Sox game.)

Anyways, this is just one of the reasons why I have been greatly lacking on posts. And as I write this, I also realize that this summer is/has been very Florida-liscious. A couple of weeks ago I was there in no-internet heaven/hell and I will soon be there next weekend for another week of Florida hottness (but this time with almost 100percent internet assuredness). I don't know what it is about this summer, but, dam, Florida, you have my heart strings a' tuggin!

(Rockin' Rollercoaster at Hollywood Studios. It was rockin.)

Oh, yes, another reason there has been no new postings recently is that I've become incredibly behind on work. You know, real work. So I've been trying to catch up with that as well as catch up on blog postings that are taking entirely way too much of my time to research and write. But, you know, I'm not complaining or anything.

santogold

Wow, I really can't believe I've neglected my blog for so long. For over a month! What a shame...but let's forget my past mistakes and think about the present. I've been listening to this RIDICULOUS singer. Her name is Santogold. And she's freaking crazy. She reminds me a bit of M.I.A. with her songs being a mix of singing and rapping with the music being a mix of every noise and sound available all bundled up. I had first heard of her in BUST, I believe. But I didn't pay any attention to her until I heard her on Pandora, under my M.I.A. station. She's fricking awesome if you like the alternative rapping/club musack.

pictures, father's day

So, here's some the pictures from last night's show & benefit for URTV. There were actually three bands playing. We came in as the first band was playing, and this is why I am not sure of the name of the first band. The next band was "Black Hook," and the last one, the one more of us came for was "Rat Jackson."

(Our host for the evening...one dirty-mouthed kid.)

(Yes, yes, yes...THE Rat Jackson.)

(Me & my buds hanging out. Me, as usual the drunkest one around.)

(The oh-so-elusive D. She actually enjoyed the show, despite her expression here.)

I also would like to wish all fathers and practically fathers out there a Happy Father's Day. I never knew my father, but my mother met a pretty nice guy when I was 10, and he's been around us ever since. He's a pretty good guy. And despite having no genetic resemblence or connection to him, I think I've acquired some his best and worst traits (like being a music snob, my sarcasm and my passion for politics and the world). :)